Temporary Just Won't Cut it
by Jack of All Suits
Summary: Sequal to 'A Cat's Life': Kratos survived his week as a kitten, can Yuan survive his as a bunny rabbit? Will he tolerate Colette's old doll clothes, and the group believing him to be a female? Well duh... of course not!
1. Temporary Just Won't Cut It

**Guess what's back! That's right! A Cat's Life has returned with a new title, a new main character, but the same great fun! Last time I got 100+ reviews (I am _beyond_ proud of that) So this time I'm hoping to pull some other poor souls in here for the ride this time 'round.

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**Moving on, we have the disclaimer with your new host… Yami no Yuugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!**

**Yami: O.O; where am I? Who're you? I need my duelingness! WHERE'S MY DECK OF CARDS?**

**Me: right here –dangles cards over lava pit-**

**Yami: ;; Have mercy**

**Me: Just read the disclaimer!**

**Yami: Shadow… hey, is that you? Anyway, you don't own ToS (what's that?) or Yu-Gi-Oh! HAH! You don't own me!**

**Me: You're out on loan.**

**Yami: Damn you.

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_**Temporary Just Won't Cut it

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"This can't be happening… This is a bad dream," The hyperventilating bunny winced when his holder shook him rather roughly. "Oh Martel, _please _let this be a dream!" Who was this blue version of Bugs Bunny? Why none other then Yuan, our favorite Renegade. And who was said Renegade-gone-bunny's captor? Our very own Kratos Aurion!

Yuan let out a cry that escaped his mouth as a pitiful squeal. Kratos looked down at him, amused. "I wouldn't do that, my dear Yuan." He chided, leaping over a log and continuing his sprint. "It's hunting season, and you don't want to be the hunted." Yuan sniffed indignantly. This was pitiful; he was being carried around a forest by Kratos. Nonetheless, the half elf rabbit found his mind wandering elsewhere. '_I wonder where we're going? Is it far? I'm hungry… I wonder what rabbits eat. I've never like carrots...'_ The Renegade tried to slap his forehead but found his little paws could only reach his chin. Kratos looked down at him; "You're reacting better then I." He admitted, remembering his severe fit of meowing. Yuan glared up at his fellow angel furiously. "Let me go! NOW!" He roared, though it came out as another shrill squeal. "Keep doing that and I can't guarantee what's for dinner!" Kratos threatened when Iselia came into view. If he hadn't been covered in bright blue fur, Yuan would have paled.

Kratos looked thoughtfully at Genis' house, then at Yuan. "They'll realize it's you. We can't have that, can we?" He smirked and sat down, holding Yuan, who was squealing pitifully, against the ground lightly. "Stand still." He warned, pulling a knife from somewhere in his winged cape.

"He's going to skin me!" Yuan fretted, "I'm gonna DIE!" Aware of what he was yelling, Yuan thumped his head against the ground in frustration. It came as a surprise when his head hit the earth at a faster speed then predicted. Why did his head feel so light? "You didn't…" Yuan turned around to look at Kratos and saw said Seraphim dangling a thick wad of blue stuff in his face. "You DIDN'T!" Yuan began to panic and shook his head, causing several _short_ pieces of hair to tumble into his eyes. "You… you cut my hair! You chopped off my hair!" He screamed indignantly, lunging at Kratos and doing the first thing that came to mind: He sunk his little teeth into his fellow angel's hand. "GAH!" Kratos yelled, standing up and clutching his throbbing limb close to his chest. "You bit me! Yuan! That was uncalled for! Hair grows back! Fingers don't!" He picked the rabbit up nonetheless and walked towards Colette's home. "Oh, and just for that, from now on, your name is Binky." Kratos added before pushing the door open.

Yuan cursed loudly and tried to climb away, but Kratos held him tightly, so much so that the half elf had trouble breathing momentarily. "Colette?" Kratos walked in and heard voices in another room crying 'Happy Birthday!' "Ah," Kratos acknowledged, looking down at Yuan, who had contented himself by knawing on the hilt of Kratos' sword, it seemed satisfying somehow, just sitting there, and chewing. "Yuan… why are you chewing on my sword?" He yanked the rabbit away from the metal and gasped. There was a massive hole in the leather surrounding the handle. "YOU STUPID RABBIT!" He roared while Yuan made a break for it, slamming into none other then Colette's legs. "Huh? Oh! A bunny! Is he a birthday present, Kratos?" She scooped up Yuan, who was having a great deal of fun sticking his tongue out in Kratos' direction while the seraphim nodded quickly. "Er… happy birthday. Its name is Binky!" Yuan squealed loudly, drawing more attention while a group of seven people crowded around. "Wow, Kr-Dad." Lloyd mentioned, "You've never seemed like much of a birthday-present-getting kind of guy." He looked at Yuan, who had taken to staring crossly at his now short hair that flopped over his eyes. "Say… that looks like Yuan!" the eternal swordsman exclaimed excitedly. Yuan sat up in Colette's arms. "YES! Yes! Give the boy a prize! It's me! Yuan! SAVE ME!" To his evident disgust they all began to laugh. "It's not Yuan, Yuan's on Derris-Kharlan, he called me a while ago with his little box thingy." Colette pointed towards where the communicator had been. "But I stepped on it after I cleaned up the vase I broke." Yuan's mouth fell open, and his eye began to twitch dramatically. He'd spent years perfecting those communicators!

"Say, Colette," Lloyd addressed his friend, "Why d'you think it's blue? I've only seen brown and white rabbits." He scratched his head until Raine stepped in. "It may be that it's a new kind of rabbit! Magnificent!" she reached out and plucked Yuan from Colette's arms, holding him against the light. "Hmm…" Yuan squeaked and tried in vain to get away. Colette gasped. "Professor! I think you're hurting him!" She clapped her hands together in concern and Yuan breathed a sigh of relief, mentally thanking the chosen ten times over when Raine passed him back into her safe arms. Without another thought the renegade leader burrowed his head into her elbow, hiding from the world while contemplating what to do next.

Meanwhile, Kratos watched it all with a wide, growing smirk, trying very hard indeed not to laugh, whether he had done the same things or not was beside the point. This was just too damn funny! He turned away and fell into a fit 'coughing'.

Lloyd looked up and noticed his father doubled over, hacking. "Hey, are you okay?" Lloyd rushed over and Kratos stood up straight. "Er, yes, I just… had something caught in my throat." Lloyd shrugged and looked at Yuan. "I still say he looks a lot like Yuan. But that's just me."

"It's just you, Lloyd." Genis said with a laugh. Lloyd blinked, not getting the insult. "Huh?" He asked.

Yuan looked at them all quietly; "They haven't changed at all." He moaned positive that that was not a good thing.

Colette smiled down at the rabbit in her arms, fiddling with one of his ears (which, for the record, is not comfortable) before laughing out loud. "I know what he needs!" She declared happily.

"What, Colette?" Lloyd and Genis asked in unison. "I bet he's jealous that Kratos got to wear my old doll clothes!" She giggled excitedly.

"What? No…no… NOO!" Yuan cried while being carried upstairs to the hell that awaited him.

"Shouldn't we stop her?" Genis asked nervously, fidgeting with the fabric of his shirt.

"Well, I mean, if it makes Colette happy…" Lloyd answered with equal hesitation.

"I sure the rabbit is fine, you two." Raine assured them, but not before glancing up the stairs nervously, where sounds of an evident struggle could be heard.

Lloyd nodded and smiled. "So, anyone wanna play cards?" He asked, waving around a deck.

"Sure." Genis said in a relieved tone.

"I suppose." Kratos shrugged.

"I can't see any harm." Raine sighed, sitting down at the table with the rest of them.

**Ten games later**

If you were to enter the Brunel household, you would find three people, staring in shock at a fourth, younger one, who had before him about twenty chocolate chip cookies.

"What just happened?" Lloyd gasped, staring at the empty spot that had once held five cookies.

Kratos gulped, "I believe the phrase is 'we got our asses kicked.'" Yes, odd language coming from said seraphim, but what would you say after losing poker to a twelve year old?

"When did Genis get so good at poker? Honestly, I thought Kratos would beat us all." Raine stuttered, making said angel scoff. "Heh, I have never been much of a poker player." He admitted.

Genis cackled mockingly. "Now who holds all the cookies? Huh?" he joked.

Rain and Lloyd laughed at this and Kratos chuckled until they heard a door open and close. Looking up they came to a sight that few have ever see. A bright blue rabbit dressed in what appeared to be a doll's 'Cinderella' gown. Kratos promptly collapsed on the floor laughing while the others giggled and chuckled tentatively.

"I think she's a girl!" Colette finally announced.

Yuan gaped up at the girl. She _what?_ Obviously the other were giving her the same looks, for she explained. "Well… I mean… I didn't, you know… _see_ anything." She explained, flushing bright red.

Yuan followed suit, and, under his fur, was burning a brilliant crimson. Kratos, also, was blushing slightly, he then coughed. "Well, I doubt that you _could_ see what you're talking about." He said through a rather clenched voice. Oh Gods was he ever glad that Dirk got to handle that part of Lloyd's education.

"Er, Guys? What're we talking about?" Lloyd's voice flowed into the conversation ad they all froze. "You don't know?" Raine asked hesitantly. "Any God with pity let him know!" Kratos prayed quietly.

"Remember Lloyd?" the professor said hesitantly. "We discussed this once in class." Lloyd eyes widened, "Oooh!" they all sighed. "You mean _that_ class. Remember, Professor? I missed that day of school."

"Lloyd… come here." Kratos and raine led him to a corner.

"Kratos… did any of your genes make it through that boy's thick skull?" Yuan sighed, shifting in the dress and eyeing a piece of wood on the floor hungrily.

Before he could carry out some of his rather ravenous thoughts, lloyd, Kratos and Raine returned, Lloyd was glowing bright red and Kratos and Raine were all but banging their heads on the wall. "Heh… I know what you're talking about now." The eternal swordsman said weakly.

Yuan hung his head and shook it. "This is going to be a long day." He moaned, thudding his head against Colette's arm. His eyes fell on the wooden leg of the table again. Why couldn't that just get out of his mind?

It came as a shock when Colette laid him on the floor. "Go look around." She encouraged. With a loud gasp, Yuan took a step forward, and fell onto his face. "Right. Rabbits hop." He scolded himself, bouncing up and down as a test. With that, he took off through the house in a mad dash, with little idea as to what he was so scared of.

Yes… This was going to be a hard week indeed.

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**First chapter's done! Hoosha! So, gimme a review, y'know, by clicking that pretty lil button there in the corner?… That's the one.**

**Yami: Gods… what did I do to deserve this?**


	2. The Beginning of the End

**And now, that's right, review responses!**

Y'all came back! I love you, my sweet reviewers! You all deserve a kiss! But I won't give you one because I have a cold.

EdenRaid: Heh, poor Yuan indeed. No more pretty hair for him. Kratos shan't get rabbis, for lawyers U.U would sue me

ToffeeChew: I'm glad you liked it! It's always nice to make the people happy!

Genismithos: Of course it's familiar. Heehee. Kratos' time as a kitten have nothing on this though!

GyppyGirl2021: Yep. –Sniffles- My little Loydie's all growed up! Thank you –bows-

Baka-schala-neko-chan: Wow… I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I'm trying to make it equal to, if not better, than a Cat's Life!

KratosIsSoCool: Heh… Yggdrasill and is obsession with staring at walls. And cowering in corners. I wonder what he'd do in a walless, round room?

KratosDaKat: I'll be making Kratos incredibly cruel in this fic heh.

Yami: o.O –is poked- save me!

Ri2: Yuan is going to have an uncanny obsession for wood in this fic, as Dirk will learn. –Cackles-

Queen of White Dunes: heh, getting your ass whipped by a twelve-year-old is fun.

Yuan: … Thank you? –Nibbles on wood-

Holysong(MutedHeart): Aw! You have a fever? I hope you feel better soon! I hereby dedicate this chapter to you, my sick friend!

Bluedranzer77: Ah, the dreaded talk. It begins with 'Come here for a moment' and ends with 'It's natural, honey!' Heh… thank you!

Origins89: Heh, yep… sick sense of humor. Very sick indeed. Thanks for the review.

Animefreakgal456: Updated!

Fan Fan Girl: I hope it's as funny as A Cat's Life! I already have lots of ideas for it! WAHAHAHA!

Shadow Dragon Demon: It's great to know you like it! BOOYAH!

**_Thanks y'all! 14 reviews for chapter one! WHOOT!_**

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**Now, the disclaimer, with your host Yami, and his special guest…**

**YUAN!**

**Yami: So… did she blackmail you into this too?**

**Yuan: Yep… threatened to take control of the Renegades and have them star in Teletubbies for the next eighty years.**

**Yami: Ouch.**

**Yuan: Yeah, did I ever tell you-- -is gagged-**

**Me: heh… Okay… let's get to the disclaimer, shall me?**

**Yami: Wow, violent. You seem rather evil…**

**Me: Disclaimer…NOW!**

**Yami: I'M WORKIN' ON IT! Ahem… Shadow doesn't own ToS, Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any other marvelous creation!**

**Me: I made a banana chocolate vanilla cheesecake sundae before, though!**

**Yami: Ew.

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Okay! This chapter is dedicated to **Holysong (MutedHeart) **I hope you feel better after this chapter!

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_**Chapter 2: The Beginning of the End**_

"Have mercy on me, Martel!" Yuan begged, having flopped onto his belly in a chair while Colette ran around doing her daily chores which included breaking every piece of fine China she touched and singing the oddest songs he'd ever heard. "Why is it that I have a new appreciation for Phaidra?" He asked an unknown force weakly while Colette hummed a song that sounded somewhat like 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'.

Colette looked up from humming and making an effort to clean a dish. "I have a good idea!" The Chosen squealed. Yuan moaned a curse. "Please… let it involve destroying the Temples rarest scriptures!" he pleaded.

"I'm going to teach you the bunny song!"

Oh, if Yuan could have died he would have at that second. "B-bunny song?" He stuttered, backing away, off the chair and into a wall. "It's easy! I learned it a long time ago!" Colette giggled and scooped him up, putting him on the table before her. "Okay! This is it!" She grabbed his paws and forced Yuan into an awkward 'dance' "I'm a bunny rab-bit!" She twirled him around. "Hop hop hop!" She lifted him up and down. "I like carrots, and peas, and grass!" She swirled Yuan around again. "I'm a little rab-bit not tall at all!" She spread out his paws while Yuan moaned inwardly. This wasn't embarrassing. This was cruel.

Ten minutes later Colette was bouncing through the forest with Yuan in her arms. "I bet Lloyd will be really happy! And Kratos too!" She giggled, "I never knew that Kratos could laugh that hard! You make _everyone_ happy, Binky!" Yuan scowled. Kratos only ever laughed at _him_. It was like an unwritten rule of their friendship: _To laugh at anyone but Yuan is considered unacceptable._ Well, the rabbit had one thing to say to that; "Stupid rules…"

For the next five minutes he growled over Kratos' behavior while Colette rambled on about… whatever the hell Colette talked about. When the house finally came into view, Yuan's face dropped even more and he began to nervously gnaw on Colette's shirt. Ew… he was gnawing! "Ugh!" he spat out the cloth and glared at Noishe in contempt as the protozoan took to humming a slow death march. "One of these days, Mutt!" The renegade warned, ignoring the fact that Noishe shouldn't even be capable of talking to him, "One of these days what? Oh great hopping renegade?"

Yuan stretched his tiny paws as far as possible in an attempt to strangle Noishe, but only reached an inch away from his holder. "If I were five feet taller you'd be in trouble!" he yelled.

"If only, if only." Noishe taunted merrily, grinning mischievously while he listened to Yuan curse openly.

Colette looked down at the angel-gone-rabbit. "Oh, that's Noishe! Do you wanna play with him? I wanna talk to Lloyd, Kratos and Dirk anyway before you sing for them!" She then laid Yuan on the ground before Noishe and walked inside without a care in the world.

"So… you got zapped into a household pet too?" Noishe snorted and laid down, resting his head on his paws. A head, Yuan realized, that was the size of a rabbit. "Why did you come down anyway, Yu-yu?" Yuan twitched; Mithos had called him that, four thousand years ago whenever the younger half-elf felt a need to get on someone's nerves. Unfortunately for Yuan, Martel was his sister, and Kratos scared him, leaving the blue haired half-elf alone to be annoyed.

Noishe stood up and padded over to Yuan, "Ooh, touch a nerve, did I?" he teased. What came next shocked the protozoan and Yuan himself. The rabbit reared up and slammed his little teeth into Noishe's nose. "ARGH!" Noishe cried, hopping around with Yuan dangling from his nostril "Getitoff! Getitoff!"

Of course, such a commotion attracted the attention of the house's inhabitants. "Yua—I mean, Binky!" Kratos shouted, diving forward while everyone else backed away from the fighting animals.

There was an explosion of squealing, barking and cursing in angelic until Kratos appeared, holding Yuan in one hand, and gripping Noishe's fur in the other. "Colette…" He hissed, out of breath. "_Please_ watch your rabbit next time." He handed Yuan back and Colette stared at the bunny crossly. "That wasn't nice. Apologize." He was held out towards Noishe.

"I hate you Mutt…" He snarled.

"Can you feeel the looove toniight?" Noishe sang in return.

"Say, Colette?" Lloyd asked, "Why don't you leave Binky inside for a while, there's nothing breakable, just Dad's projects, and those are all wood. We could get him to make you a nice cage." The eternal swordsman grinned and Kratos barely caught himself from cracking up. A cage? This just got better and better!

Needless to say, a minute later, Yuan was bounding through Lloyd's home like the spunky little mammal he was turning out to be, pausing here and there to observe interesting things. This rabbit business was going to someone's head. "I know a funny bunny, who likes to hop along! And everytime he bounces, he sings his bunny song! Funny Bunny hee hee hee! Funny Bunny ha ha ha! Funny bunny is the bunny friend for you and me!" Yes… Yuan had even made up a song about rabbits. (A/N: That diddy is actually from Dave the Barbarian)

Soon enough, he was before a massive piece of wood carved to resemble a cat. With a bit of hesitation, he gnawed on the edge. Finding that the cat wouldn't attack; he began to take bigger bites.

When Dirk, Kratos, Lloyd and Colette came in, they were shocked to find said statue on its side, lacking a paw, as were many other pieces of wood. "Colette…" Lloyd whispered. "You had better find that rabbit… really fast." Well, there was no need for that, as Yuan had just banged into Kratos foot. Good thing too, since the mercenary/angel was the only one tall enough to keep Yuan out of Dirk's reach. "That rabbit just ate two and a half years of work!" The dwarf roared while Kratos backed away with Yuan held high over his head.

Lloyd was quick to his biological father (and Yuan)'s aid. "Dad! Calm down! When you give Colette the cage, Binky won't chew on anything anymore!" Dirk frowned thoughtfully, then agreed grudgingly. "Fine… I'll let the rabbit go." Kratos and Yuan both sighed in relief, Kratos because he had been holding aforementioned target, and Yuan, because he _was_ the target.

Without fail, two hours later, (A time in which Yuan was clasped tightly in the hands of Colette) Dirk revealed to them a large metal cage. The top and bottom were separate so Colette could easily put Yuan in and out. Unfortunately for him, it locked down, so no one(or thing) inside could open it.

"Wow! Thank you, Dirk!" Colette cheered, filling the cage with grass before setting her new 'pet' in it. Yuan, of course, was squealing towards Noishe for help, but the protozoan merely ignored him, obviously holding a grudge for his wounded nose, leaving Yuan alone to fend for himself as he was thrown around his new 'home' when Colette skipped back to her house. "This—OW! Is—Ouch! GREAT!" Yuan yelled in between hitting the roof of the cage.

If you only knew how 'great' this would get, my dear rabbit friend. If only you knew…

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**Done! Chapter 2 has arrived my friends! So get reviewing! Sorry it was so short! I really had a lot of writer's block. My mind's BLANK.**


	3. Found Out

**HOLY CRAP I'M LATE! –Rushes around desperately- Sorry folks, but I simply do NOT have enough time for review responses this update! That wonderful thing shall be back next time without a doubt!

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**Moving on! Here's the disclaimer with your host Yami and his guest…**

**Colette!**

**Yami: -Is shoved out of dressing room wearing a pair of pink PJs- what the hell?**

**Colette: Mr. Yami! You said the H word!**

**Yami: What? Hell?**

**Colette: You said it again, Mr. Yami! Martel can't be very happy now!**

**Yami: -rolls eyes- Colette… Martel isn't a goddess… I've played this game multiple times.**

**ZAPKAPOOSH!**

**Yami: -Is on the floor twitching- Ouchie…**

**Yuan: But she could use magic… SHAZAM! –Poofs off-**

**Yami: Shadow… no own… ToS… ;; Medic!**

**Colette: Wow… Martel actually smut someone… I hope he's all right! –Trips over Yami-**

**Yami: My spleeeennn…**

**Colette: -hugs broken cup- I'm so sorry Cup!**

**Yami: Well I've reached the ultimate feeling of self-doubt… she values a cup over me.

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_**Chapter 3: Found Out

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Had you entered the Brunel household, you would spot a little fuzzy blue blur running from a very pleasant Colette, who was holding the biggest, most orange carrot you had ever seen. "But Binky! It's good for you!" She cried happily while in pursuit of the houseguest, who was squealing in fear. Yuan and carrots had never been a good combination. Not since Kratos had 'accidentally' used wind blade, hurling two well-sized vegetables straight up the half-elf's nose.

Colette, of course, had no idea of Yuan's past with carrots. Hell, she didn't even know he _was_ Yuan. She looked around the living room casually and peeked under a chair. "Binky! You have to be hungry!" She called. As the chosen began to move from room to room again, however, a familiar voice called to her from the door.

"Colette?" Lloyd yelled hopefully while Kratos fiddled with his winged cape, still feeling mild cat-like sensations, such as short attention span and a strong affinity for yarn, or anything similar to it. "Where do you think she is, Kratos?" he asked. The man looked up, staring at Lloyd as though he had interrupted something very important. "How should I know?" He shrugged indifferently.

"Fine, don't talk."

Kratos did just that, and after another moment or two, Lloyd stared at his biological father blankly, "Say, whatever happened to Yuan? Last I remember every other day you were plotting his death." He tilted his head to the side while a thoughtful look fell on Kratos' features, "Well," he began, "Yuan will get what's coming to him anyway, won't he?"

"Yeah but how? He's always tucked away in some corner."

"I'm sure he'll come out sometime," Kratos lied, glancing around for a sign of the rabbit. "Why do you care, Lloyd?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow, trying to act calmly, though the normally-indifferent angel was now fretting slightly over the fact that if Lloyd or anyone else for that matter found out about Yuan, his fun would be ruined.

"Nothing," Lloyd decided, "I guess Yuan's always been that way, huh?"

Kratos smirked, "For over five years he was known as the 'Lonely outside cousin who was rejected for his blue hair.' Lloyd…" He shrugged and sidestepped to let a certain rabbit skitter past and hide behind his shoe.

"Binky!" Colette cried, looking around desperately, "Did either of you see her?"

Kratos bit his tongue to choke back laughter. "No…" He managed in a slightly high voice, "She's probably gone upstairs." His shoulders began to shake as the seraphim continued fighting a fit of laughter.

Colette, being the oblivious girl she was, simply shrugged, not noticing the quivering mound of fur behind Kratos that was 'Binky'. "Oh." She said simply, turning away and dashing up into her room looking for the bunny.

Lloyd looking at his father like he was insane. "Why do you keep cracking up when we talk about Binky being a girl?" He demanded suspiciously as Kratos chuckled. "I don't get you sometimes, Kratos." He then looked at the rabbit, which had taken on the most peculiar pose. It was on its hind feet with two paws planted firmly on its hips, glowering up at Kratos angrily.

"K-Kratos?" Lloyd squeaked, backing away from the animal like it was possessed, of course, for all he knew it _could_ be possessed. "Binky's being weird…"

Kratos looked up and frowned, "What's wrong Lloyd?" He then looked down at Yuan, who took this opportunity to leap up and latch onto his hair like some sort of unfashionable, living hair clip. "AH!" The seraph was taken by surprise and fell backwards, sliding on the coffee table behind him, sending about three crystal platters flying. "Yuan!" he bellowed before he was able to stop himself.

Lloyd, for once, was quick to catch onto his father's error. "Yuan?" He quested suspiciously while Kratos cursed himself. "That's…" The boy stared at the rabbit and promptly collapsed in laughter. "But we were… Oh _Martel_!" Lloyd gasped for air. "He had it even worse than you!"

Kratos frowned, "I resent that. No one's taken advantage of his size but me. Raine had the amusement of watching me sneeze tomato juice."

"Yeah, but at least we noticed you were a guy!"

"Yuan deserved it." Kratos glowered at the other seraphim-gone-animal, which was sitting smugly on his chest. He then looked around the room and noticed he had just pulled a trip that could rival Colette's. "Ugh… get off me." He muttered, swiping at Yuan, who snapped his teeth irritably before bouncing away.

"Hey Bink—Yuan! Come back!" Lloyd started after the half-elf-gone-bunny but stopped when he leapt out an open window. "Uh oh."

Kratos looked up from trying to piece together the crystal platters. "What's wrong, Lloyd?" He asked with a hint of concern.

"Er… Yuan just bounced out the window." Lloyd scratched his head.

"He'll come back sooner or later." Kratos dismissed. "And if not, like you said, he only ever hides in a corner to begin with."

"Not true! He has really lousy sayings, too!" Lloyd stated, unsure if he was defending Yuan or proving Kratos' point.

**Meanwhile…**

"I have to use the bathroom." Yuan growled in frustration and hopped up and down. "Really… really bad!" he added.

"Then go tinkle or whatever ya wanna call it." The rabbit whirled around and his sight fell on none other than our dear friend Milo the Cat. "It's not like it matters."

Yuan stiffened at the prospect of using the bathroom right then and there. He grimaced, "Look," He began heatedly, "I'm not even a rabbit! I'm not some sort of animal that says 'Bombs Away' and goes wherever he damn well pleases!"

Milo blinked then sneered, "I don't like it when little bunnies give me attitude!" He thrust his face down next to Yuan's and watched the rabbit stumble backwards in terror. "Whaddaya say ta that, Runt?"

Yuan gulped and said in a squeaky voice, "Well… I don't have to 'tinkle' anymore…" He managed pitifully.

Milo twisted his face in revulsion and stepped closer to Yuan, falling back into his sneer. "You're funny, Rabbit, real funny! Too bad I'm gonna hafta eatcha!" Yuan gasped and began backing away, rabbit instincts kicking in quickly as he searched for a way out of his situation. After a moment he did the only thing that came to his mind. He ran!

"Get back here!" Milo roared, giving chase as Yuan ran for Colette's house and leapt through the window and past Kratos and Lloyd. "What?" Kratos looked up and soon had a dirty, great white cat on his face. "…!" He grunted and ripped Milo off of his face and scowled. "You!" He hissed, recognizing the animal immediately and sneering, hurling Milo out the window just as Colette returned, still clutching the carrot. "Oh, Binky!" She exclaimed, having missed everything about Yuan's true identity being revealed. "Come on, eat your carrot." Yuan moaned inwardly. Whether they knew it was him or not, being a rabbit was not going to be easy.

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**Booyah! Done! I know, I know, it sucks, but bear with me, people! I've been forced to write this with so many English essays, biology tests, and more that I hardly even had time!**


	4. Let the Party Begin!

**Review responses are unfortunately against the laws of now so if you want a reply, give a SIGNED review, I swear I shall respond!**

**Now, the disclaimer, with your host Yami and his guest…Presea! Presea: Chances of escaping this with sanity… 0.99 out of 12,345,222**

**Yami: She's so happy…**

**Presea: Happiness is unimportant.**

**Yami: Why do I feel like this is getting no where…**

**Presea:…**

**Yami: Hmm… -looks over cards-**

**FIVE HOURS LATER**

**Presea: …**

**Yami: Menthos fresh mints, Meeennnthos fresh mints, Menthos fresh mints, Menthos fresh and full of life! Menthos… the fresh-maker!**

**Presea: DAMMIT! FINE! Shadow does not own ToS, Yu-Gi-Oh, Menthos, or a song mentioned in this chapter!**

**Yami: Gaha. Menthos conquers all!**

**_Chapter 4: Let the Party Begin!_**

Alcohol wasn't at all uncommon in Iselia. In fact, a party just wasn't a party without wine. You know what that means! To celebrate Yuan's 'rabbit-ness' the whole group was throwing a party, with wine and beer, and all the other 'goodies' Lloyd, or rather, Regal (being the one with lots of money) could get his hands on.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Lloyd cheered; wiggling in excitement while Kratos ran a hand through his hair. "Lloyd… before you go off and get yourself drunk, I'm setting some ground rules. One; Go outside the village without someone who is somewhat sober, I'll kill you." He paused to let his words sink in. "Two; If you feel the need to vomit, do so away from the crowd because they will not be happy with having half-digested peas on their clothing, if I get complaints, I will kill you." He paused dramatically again, "Three, and last; Drink all you wish, just don't forget that you'll feel Hell for it tomorrow morning, if I wake up to a house full of hung-over men and women, I—" Lloyd rolled his eyes, "You'll kill me." He finished for his father, who merely grunted and looked around.

"Have you seen Yuan?" he asked.

"Nope…"

Kratos looked around again and frowned, he heard something very faint. He turned around and narrowed his eyes looking towards the horizon where that irritable noise was coming from. Three tiny rheiards could be seen. "Regal… Zelos… and Sheena are coming I believe…" The angel muttered.

"Uh?" Lloyd looked in the same direction, "I don't see anything, Kratos, maybe you're imagining it…" He squinted and Kratos held up a hand, silencing him. "Watch." He stated simply, gesturing out the window where the flying machines were slowly becoming visible to Lloyd's eyes. "Oh! Hey, you still have kitty-vision!"

"I resent that…"

Now, you all may very well be wondering 'Well, what the hell are they celebrating?'. Well, my dear readers, the people of Iselia really can't think up any good excuses, so it's probably some sort of 'yay-we-know-the-bunny's-really-an-angel' celebration. Please, don't ask; just go along with it.

Anyway, ten minutes later, greetings were exchanged and the heroes were seated in Colette's living room while the girl apologized profusely. Over and over and over _and over_. "Dammit all, Girl! I forgive you!" Yuan shrieked, though it came out as a pitiful squeal.

Sheena stared at him and grinned, scooping the rabbit up and holding him against the light from the window. "Are you all sure this is Yuan? I mean, this little thing is so cut, and cuddly, and adora—AH!" She squealed when Yuan sank his little teeth into her thumb. "Ouch! You stupid puffball! Get back here!" She screamed in rage and took off after the oddly colored animal.

Zelos sighed, "I told everyone she was a violent banshee, but did anyone listen up 'til now? _Nooo_"

**Five hours later**

"Gaha! That's funnyyy…" Kratos watched in silent awe as Lloyd stumbled along with Zelos. They'd only had what, three drinks and this was how they acted? "Pitiful…" he snorted, turning away to sip at his own cup of wine. Of course, the angel wasn't going to get drunk. He hadn't done that for four thousand years. "Unless you count that time…"

**Ah, the joys of flashbacks**

"Kratos! What the… where's my drink!" Anna turned her head towards her husband and nearly died of laughter.

Kratos Aurion, the single, solitary, most serious man on the Earth's surface, was wobbling about giggling like a sugar-high child on free balloon day. "A-Anna!" He began merrily, "I thought…" He paused to giggle, "I thought Th-that this was JUICE! GAHA! Funny, eh?" He stumbled past and headed for the door of their Inn-room. "I wonder if Mrs. Room Cleaner-upper would like some happy juice!" He tripped on the carpet and found himself splayed on the floor. "Wow… The floor's so clean… and it smells like minty freshness!" he sat up and doubled over in laughter. "Mint… Wow…"

Anna raised an eyebrow and adjusted some long brown hair behind her ear. "Kratos… Hun… why don't you just lay down? Hmm? That couldn't be too bad, could it?" She gently took his arm and the auburn-haired man hugged her tightly, "I wuff you… Anna! My dear, sweet, wifey!" He looked around for a moment. "I smell bacon… do YOU smell bacon?" he sniffed the air, which, in reality, smelled of nothing but the decrepit inn.

"Kratos…" Anna tried again slowly. She'd never seen her husband drunk, but so far he just seemed overly happy and giggly. "Come on, now… sit down." She inched closer to him.

"But Anna-Wanna…" Kratos began, "I want bacon!"

Anna blinked and sighed in desperation. "Sit down in the bed and fall asleep and I'll give you…" She paused and tried not to giggle openly, "B-bacon…" She stuttered finally with a snort.

"You snorted, Anna…" Kratos pointed out, "Don't mock me." He swayed dangerously and scowled when Anna caught him. "I can stand on my own, thank you." He barked. "Now, if you ex…ex…whatever me, I'm going to find something to eat." He then began to hobble towards the door, chuckling over some secret joke of his. Anna held her hands in front of her eyes when a thick thud echoed through the room.

"Who told the door to be here?"

**The end of my pointless, OoC flashback is nigh.**

Kratos felt his face heat up just at the memory and he wisely pushed the wine away and took to examining his surrounding cautiously. Though the world was obviously safe, the angel couldn't help but wish for something that would make his constant paranoia pay off.

During his look around, Kratos saw some sights he personally longed to record and use for blackmail.

First of all, we had Sheena, flirting with every man in sight, and collapsing around in a fit of giggles while Presea was nearby flapping her wings and claiming to be a seagull.

Next in line, you could see Regal, doing nothing inconspicuous really, he was being wise like Kratos and sipping at a single glass of wine, that of course, didn't save him from hordes of folk just rambling on about some completely idiotic thing. Truthbetold, the president looked ready to kill.

About five feet to his left was Genis and Raine, Genis was trying to grab some liquor from a nearby table while Raine slapped his hand away again, and again, and again. That is, until the boy exploded and started screaming about his sibling being a drunken cow and yet still overprotective while Raine countered by screaming about… Hell, Kratos'd be damned if he knew what she was shrieking about. All the while Colette skipped along singing what sounded like a hymn and a lullaby mixed together into the foulest song he'd ever heard. Thank the Goddess she wasn't completely drunk.

Finally, Kratos laid eyes on Lloyd and Zelos, singing merrily along with a band of men, and he'd be surprised if their song sounded any better than Colette's did. Now, where was Yuan? Kratos turned around, expected to see the rabbit sitting in his home made cage. It was empty. "Hmm? Where is he?" Kratos looked around and felt his blood run cold.

Yuan was standing on the table with his big blue head submerged in liquor. "Dammit! Yuan, you're going to get alcohol poisoning! Or worse… you'll get drunk!" He yanked his fellow angel from the drink and watched as the rabbit flounced about in a drunken state.

"Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro…" Yuan hung his head and watched in amusement as his own ears wiggled, "Can ya tie 'em in a knot? Can ya tie 'em in…in a bow?" He hiccuped and ignored Kratos who was trying to catch him as he bounced about. "Can ya throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a ...a… Coversationable soldier?" he giggled, "Do your ears. Hang. Low?" With that, the renegade-gone-rabbit bowed and fell off the counter and into tankard of ale. With a shrill giggle he raised a paw and squealed, "Here's to happiness, here's to Flamploosably magnificent words, and…" he hiccuped drunkenly, "HERE'S TO GOOD BEER!" With that said he clambered out of the liquid and flopped onto the floor. "I feel so giddy… and happy… and nice… and happy… and giddy… and nice…" He looked up and squealed into the face of Noishe, who was now blocking the exit into a flamploosably wonderful world. "Move it… Muttsey!" Yuan mumbled, swishing a paw towards the protozoan.

"You drunk little weasel!"

"Drunk wittle wabbit, you mean." Yuan pointed an accusing paw towards Noishe for the silly mistake.

"Ugh. You stink!"

"My good sir, are you… you hinting…" Yuan giggled, "That I passed gas?"

Noishe made a disgusted sound, "You're worse as a drunk!"

"Fank you… gaha…"

"Not a compliment…"

"Oh…" Yuan's face fell momentarily and then he brightened once more. "I'm sure it was just a mistake! No hard feelings!"

Noishe sighed and looked around for some sort of savior. He had no such luck, as the rest of the group had either passed out, or (In Kratos and Lloyd's case) was hauling their son out of the forest. "Come on, Yuan…" Noishe pleaded, "Just come with me so we can go home."

Yuan blinked and snorted, "Chya!" He exclaimed, hopping away, "I'ma gonna find me some beer!"

If Noishe could have only had time to hit his head against a wall, which, by the way, would listen far better than Yuan. "That's it!" Taking care not to lick off any ale, Noishe lifted the rabbit and trudged back to Colette's house. At least, if luck was on his side, Yuan would be half-human and hung-over come morning.

**Done! Alright, I have to admit, this chapter, out of them all, was the one most worthy of being rated T, but I also (for one of the first times) had a total BLAST writing it! I hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Karaoke Madness!

Well, a few people might not have gotten a review response. Sorry about that… I'm a procrastinator to the strongest sense of the world. God, you all ought to see me with assignments. Heh, _'Yes mom, I'm doing my book report'_ **eh… I got ten days**…

_'Doing it mom!'_ **Five days**

_!'Working, Mumsey'_ **one day.**

**'**_Y'know… I ought to start that report… nah, I got ten minutes'_ t**welve am, day before it's due**.

Yeah, that's my life. Anyway! This chapter was TOTALLY inspired by 'Love Me Do' by The Beatles! If you ever have a chance, you ought to listen to it! This chapter involves characters singing songs, I tried to get some suitable tunes for them but it didn't go too well. Don't worry though, the whole chapter won't be that! Let's get a list of songs up here now! This is a really weird chapter, but it's inspiring and fun to write and (Hopefully) read

Yuan: Love Me Do- Beatles

Kratos: Hero- Nickelback

Lloyd: My Evil Plan to Save the World- Five Iron Frenzy

Regal: Kung-Fu Fighting- KC and the Sunshine Band

Zelos: Lazy Bones- Thicke

Sheena: Hollaback Girl- Gwen Stefani

Raine: Fallen- Sarah Mclachlan

Genis: Somebody to Love- Queen

Presea: Nature Boy- Nat King Cole (I know, a man's supposed to sing it)

Colette: Here for a Good Time- Queen

NONE of these awesome songs are mine. I'm really sorry if this really weird change makes you dislike the chapter, but, it IS my story, and I figured a little karaoke never hurt anyone, and admit it, it would be hilarious to hear this… Now, then, the disclaimer

**With your host Yami and his sidekick for the day…**

**Zelos**

**Yami: Why the hell did I get a song? –Waves around words to 'I like Big Butts'- That is a DIRTY song! DIRTY!**

**Zelos: Oh yeah, that's mine… I saw it on one of those computer things. Gimme it!**

**Yami: I'm burning this!**

**Zelos: NO! I'll never find that site again!**

**Yami: Tough cookies!**

**Zelos: C'mon, man! I'm a desperate man, here!**

**Kakashi from Naruto: … I think I'm in the wrong place…**

**Zelos: Is that… AN R RATED NOVEL?**

**Kakashi: … Why yes… yes it is. What is it to you…?**

**Zelos: Where'd you get that?**

**Kakashi: My pocket…**

**Zelos: No, no I mean WHERE.**

**Kakashi: -.- my pocket, you idiot.**

**Yami: What the hell are you doing here? Naruto's being held a few blocks from here. >> You're late.**

**Kakashi: I was lost on the road of life when an old lady lost her shoe and a cat hid it in a tree.**

**Yami: That's such a lie. How can you lie so horribly and keep a straight voice?**

**Kakashi: It's a gift.**

**Yami: Shadow doesn't own ToS, Yu-Gi-Oh, Naruto or any of those horrid songs.**

**Kakashi: I really did get lost on the road of life.**

**Zelos: I want that book.**

**Kakashi: It's mine, get your own.**

**Zelos: its called Come Come Paradise? DAMN I want that book!**

**Kakashi: -walks away with brand new scarring memories-**

Yes, well… sorry for throwing ANOTHER unrelated character into the disclaimer. But Hatake Kakashi is my freaking hero. Heh, kind of the anime-tised form of myself. Not that I read… dirty novels… -cough-

**_Chapter 5: Karaoke Madness! Part 1 (?)_**

Yuan's eyes opened blearily and he whined loudly, clutching his head and rolling over. Ah, nine in the morning. "Gods… I feel like…" he couldn't finish his sentence as his mouth was occupied with the task of spewing out some nasty stuff. "Ugh… gross…" He moaned, wiping his lips and sitting up, staring at his hands blandly. Huh? Staring at his hands? "I'm back to normal? I'm back to normal!" he cried in delight looking in the mirror. He grinned at his half-elven face, nose, lips, hair, ears… wait… why were his ears gone? Why did his head feel too heavy? He looked up and opened his mouth.

"What was that?" Lloyd mumbled into a cup of strong tea that he was rather apprehensive to drink. Kratos looked at him while he and Regal dispersed the drinks around the hungover heroes. "Just drink it Lloyd." he scolded, "A few cups of that and your headache will be gone. Or it will have been reduced." He smirked humorlessly, "Regal or I could just heal you, but what would you all learn from that?" He watched a blue blur fly down the stairs and yelped when whatever it was latched onto his legs and was sobbing hysterically. "I'm a RABBIT-MAN!" Yuan screamed in obvious depression while Kratos' expression changed from shock, to anger, to pity, and finally, it settled on disgust. "Get off!" he hissed, kicking Yuan away lightly to that the half-elf cringed due to his alcohol-induced headache. "Ugh… here." Kratos turned around and added several teaspoons of honey to a cup of tea. "Drink this, and if you EVER do that again, being a rabbit won't be a problem." He looked at the table where the rest of the group was staring blankly.

"Oh, is everyone awake?" Colette skipped in merrily and even Lloyd glowered at her for being so pleasant.

"Yuan!" She squealed, hugging him tightly, earning a nervous squeal. "Oh? I'm sorry! I won't hug you again." She dusted off his clothing and looked around, "Why do you all have tea? Didn't know you drank tea! I'll drink tea too, if you do, Lloyd." The boy hung his head and watched Colette pour her drink happily and shuffled over so she could sit next to him. "Oh! Guess what?" She exclaimed, making them all wince, except our very ownnon-drinkersKratos and regal, "There's a karaoke contest tonight in Altamira and I signed us all up! Won't it be fun! They pick songs randomly and we have to sing them. I'm pretty sure someone is coming to tell us the songs now, since I saw one of the little messenger boys walking over!" She giggled happily and pranced to the door, which had been knocked as if on queue. "Here you go!" the boy bubbled, handing over ten pieces of paper, "everyone's real excited about hearing you guys sing!" He waved brightly and tramped off while Colette turned around to nine glowering faces. "Oh? I'm sorry… but we can't back out now." She whimpered pitifully and everyone sighed, grabbing their songs one by one.

"What the… My Evil Plan to Save the World? Who do they think I am? Mithos?"

"Hero… ironic… I nearly destroyed the world…"

"Now what in the name of… Fallen? It seems kind of sad…"

"Kung-fu fighting? Hyah? What kind of lyrics are these?"

"We're here for a good time! Yay! I like this one."

"Love me Do? HAH! Mine is completely repetitive! It's so easy… but so goddamn happy too…"

"Lazy Bones? Heh, this would work better for Lloyd!"

"Hollaback Girl, eh? Hmm… it's not so bad, I guess."

"Nature Boy…"

"I want somebody toooo…. LOOooooOoooOvvve!" As Genis finished his screechy note they quivered. Their singing skills all ranged from great to moderate, to 'Oh-God-Make-It-Stop!' and they'd just heard the latter. "Maybe you could call in sick, Genis." Lloyd suggested weakly as his headache returned. "I'm going to bed." He moaned.

"So are we…" Sheena spoke for the rest of the group, excluding Kratos, Regal, and Colette

"Hey, Colette…" The girl walked back to the door and saw a group of children that seemed vaguely familiar to Kratos. "You have a bunny-man here, don't ya, Colette?" A little girl piped up. "Is he as cool as the kitty?"

"Rabbit? Oh, Yuan! Yeah, he's here!" The group walked into the house and spotted Kratos immediately. "Lookie, guys! The kitty! But his ears are gone! Oh no!" Before the seraph could complain he had six children crawling on him like little bugs. The group began to edge away as his face turned red with rarely-seen anger. "Get. Off. Right. Now." He hissed dangerously as they pulled at his ears painfully. "NOW." The kids scrambled away and hid behind none other than Yuan, who had wander in blandly. "Eh? AH! Rabid children!" Yuan squealed and pulled away from them as they climbed up his arms instead. "Getitoff!" He cried, "Getitoffgetitoff!" The heroes gaped openly at the renegade, allowing their jaws to hang loosely as he bounced around near-tears. "HALP!" He sobbed.

"Scat!" Lloyd flicked at the children and helped Yuan to his unsteady feet. "Er… Are you okay?" he asked as the normally stoic half-elf sobbed into his hands. "That was horrible!" he screamed. Yuan looked up through puffy eyes and blinked. "I… what am I crying about?" he looked at Lloyd, who's face was frozen in a look that resembled the last mouse unfortunate enough to come across Raine in a bad mood. "You look like an idiot, Lloyd. Stop gaping." Lloyd obediently snapped his jaws shut and Yuan glanced around. "Now that those monsters are gone, I'm getting a nap." With that said Yuan left the flabbergasted youth and returned to a couch that was for the most part unoccupied, though Presea was curled up at the foot.

At seven o'clock they were all well rehearsed and prepared to some extent to sing. Each of them was wearing a little costume the Altamira staff suggested they wear, of course, no one wanted to spoil the surprise so they were covered in cloaks.

"I am against this… but my new 'Kitty-senses'," Kratos glared at Lloyd, "Seem to be under the impression that this will be amusing." He folded his arms and read over his song, though his had it memorized.

"What is they laugh at me? I can't sing! This song is so hard!" Yuan wailed.

"I really don't do high notes." Genis moaned while tuning his horrible singing voice.

"My song is so… sad." Raine muttered disapprovingly.

"I think I'm okay!" Sheena, Lloyd, and Colette said in unison.

"Let's get this over with." Regal mumbled and Presea simply nodded.

"Heh heh heh. This'll be great!" Zelos cackled.

With their final words spoken, the group of ten exited the house and launched their rheairds, heading towards what could only be explained as their doom.

And what a place of doom it was. The Altamira Hotel apparently had a massive pub downstairs, used for annual Karaoke competitions. The walls were a royal blue with red banners draping down every couple of feet.

Behind the curtains, Lloyd was grinning broadly as he'd been called up first. "Heehee! Watch me blow them all away!" he cheered.

"Oh Lloyd," Kratos responded sarcastically, "I'm sure you aren't that bad!" he smirked and clapped his son on the shoulder nonetheless. "Good luck though."

Lloyd pulled off his cloak to reveal a dazzlingly white tuxedo with black trim and a bright red bowtie. "Yeah!" he yelled, running onto the stage as music began to play. As the loud, bubbly intro blared, the Eternal Swordsman stared at the many faces watching him and felt almost sick. He opened his mouth and some feeble words entered the odd magitechnology that sent it resonating through the massive room.

"**I have an evil plan,**

**to save the world for every man,**

**and I think it's better than**

**the way it's being run**!"

The boy grinned and began to strut around the stage. Sure, he wasn't a great singer, and half the audience looked fit to die laughing, but this was fun!

"**Oh! The groundwork's laid!**

**No, don't be afraid!**

**I'm sure that I can fix it,**

**When I figure out the physics**!"

Behind that ominous curtain, the group of heroes watched their friend prance around, totally into his act. "Look at him!" Genis laughed. The others soon joined him and even Kratos chuckled lightly as lloyd slipped on the floor and landed on his bottom just as the song ended,

"**My evil plan to save the world,**

**Just you wait 'til it's unfurled,**

**It'll go down in history!**

**It's prophetic,**

**No! It's not pathetic!**

**I can't believe I made it up myself**

**Yeaaahhhh**"

Lloyd waved cheerfully and bounced back stage where the group was waiting to cheer for him with the audience.

"That was awesome!" Zelos shouted happily, clapping his buddy on the back with the others while Kratos listened to the announcer. "Next, we have a performance by someone who we hope will please you, the one, the only, Zelos Wilder!" Said red-head grinned like a maniac and ran out to a roaring audience. "Thank you, thank you!" He called as the crowd settled down eagerly. Being the Chosen, they were obviously expecting a marvelous singer.

Weren't they disappointed…

The first note out of Zelos' mouth was so shrill it had people cowering under their chairs. He sounded like a cat getting eaten by a pig while getting water poured over it. By the sounds of it, the pig was making a racket as well. At least he looked nice, wearing what appeared to be a bright red T-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a backward black baseball cap.

"**Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do**"

People yelped at the distressing sound and hid their heads while Zelos took to skipping around the stage.

"**Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do do do!**

**I'm takin' time out for reflecting,**

**I'm goin' one on one with who I'd like to be,**

**I'm leaning towards the sun,**

**Watching flowers blossom all around me**."

Behind the curtain, the heroes were all writhing as Zelos continued his song happily. "Lloyd…" Kratos said gravely as Zelos hit another humanly impossible note. "If I ever… ever mock your singing again—" He paused and winced at another squeal from the stage, "Please remind me of this… performance." Lloyd nodded and covered his ears as the song ended on a high-pitched wail.

Zelos walked backstage amid the screams of the audience. "I guess they loved me!" He declared cockily, unaware that they were screaming in pure pain of having their eardrums busted. The Chosen looked at his friends, all who were groaning over their poor hearing capabilities.

"My ears…" Genis moaned melodramatically, collapsing onto Lloyd, who stumbled into Kratos, who caught them both until Zelos decided to let out another 'wonderful' note. "Gah!" Kratos collapsed into a pile with Lloyd and Genis on top of him. "Get off." He grumbled bitterly, shoving the two boys away and sitting up just in time to hear the most dreaded words of his long life…

"Next, hopefully a better voice than our dear Chosen, Kratos Aurion!" Kratos looked around desperately and was shoved onto the stage wearing a completely black suit with a dark red tie. He gulped quietly and looked at the crowd who were looking very hesitant. He took the odd magitechnology device in his hand and began to sing,

"**I am so high, I can hear heaven,**

**I am so high, I can hear heaven…**

**Oh but heaven, no, heaven don't hear me**."

Well, he was definitely a good singer, that was for sure. Better than Lloyd and Zelos at least. Then again, after four thousand years, that singing in the shower really paid off!

"**And they say that a hero will save us,**

**I'm not gonna stand here and wait.**

**Grab hold of the wings of the eagles,**

**Watch as we all fly away**"

Back stage, the group was gaping shamelessly. "Kratos… can sing!" Lloyd choked, "Why can't I find anything to laugh at him about?" He hung his head and watched the others nod. "I wonder what he can't do?" Raine demanded, "He's an angel, he can sing, he can fight, he's quiet, you can't deny he's handsome!" Her eyebrow twitched irritably.

"Shouldn't we be glad that our friend has such a talent?" Regal asked quietly, and yet he couldn't hide the smallest hint of jealousy in his eyes.

"No!" The rest shouted at him before watching Kratos end his song, prepared to give him a piece of their minds.

"**And they're watching us **

**(Watching Us) **

**and they're watching us **

**(Watching Us) **

**as we all fly away**."

As Kratos finished, he wondered blankly where the hell that other voice had come from. He glanced around the stage fleetingly before walking backstage with a very small smile towards the happy crowd. He looked at the group and blinked at the murderous glares, "What's wrong?" He began uneasily, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh no," Lloyd said sweetly, "You were perfect…"

"Oh… That's good then."

"That's the problem!" Kratos stumbled backwards at the force of their yelling. "What? What do you mean by that?" he snapped in confusion.

"You are so perfect it's frustrating!" Raine exclaimed, "You can sing, you are an angel, you're one of the few quiet men in the world, and you certainly don't look like someone who was alive when the worlds were still combined!" She stomped her foot and the others nodded hesitantly.

"Hah…" Kratos began to laugh bitterly and gestured to himself. "I'm the one who spent four thousand years following the most insane person on earth. I'm the one who made no effort to stop him." He paused and a touch of kittenness came out. "But, I am pretty awesome, aren't I?" He smirked and flexed one of his hands happily while the group groaned in unison and shook their heads.

"…--have the wondrous Raine Sage!" The announcer cried and the half-elf froze with her hand risen to threaten the cat-like angel. "Me?" She squeaked, wringing her hand nervously. "Oh no. I haven't studied enough!" She rubbed her temples fretfully. "Oh no, oh no!" She bit her lip and Lloyd, Zelos and Kratos tried to comfort her.

"It's easy!"

"And fun!"

"Once you get out there it's not as bad as you would expect." The three of them shared their own emotions before getting on stage; Lloyd had been nervous, Zelos hadn't really minded, and Kratos admitted to being rather scared (Or, as Lloyd put it "Ready to piss himself")

Raine smiled and walked onto the stage with new confidence, "Hello!" She called, grabbing the magitechnology-made microphone. She quickly shed her cloak for a black cocktail dress with silver trim and a chain of silver roses going across the waist.

"**Heaven bent to take my hand,**

**Lead me through the fire,**

**Be the long awaited answer,**

**To a long and painful fight**."

Well, she wasn't as scarring as Zelos, but she was still slightly worse than Lloyd, being that she made her voice too high for the chosen song. "She was right, that is a pretty sad song." Zelos admitted and the others nodded. Lloyd, however, was studying the professor's attire. "Wow," he gasped, "The professor actually looks nice!"

Sheena was on him in an instant, "You make it sound rare!" She exclaimed in defense of her friend.

"No, no!"

"You idiot!"

Kratos watched apathetically as his son was beaten by the female ninja and blinked when Zelos was somehow added to the brawl with cries of "Not the face!" He looked back out at the stage and noticed Yuan was trembling with his nerves. "It's not that hard, Yuan." He consoled boredly.

"Uh? Oh, yeah right. Look at Raine, her knees are shaking!" Yuan gestured at the half-elf and the two angels snickered at the sight of her trembling joints. The other joined, however, only when she stumbled off the stage altogether.

"**Though I've tried, I've fallen**

**I have sunk so low**

**I've messed up better,**

**I should know**

**So don't come round here**

**And tell me I**—AHH!" Raine squealed as she tripped off the platform and into the crowd, flattening an unlucky couple.

Lloyd looked up dumbly and noticed his teacher's absence. "Hey… Where's Raine?" He asked blankly as Yuan and Kratos began to laugh hysterically.

Yes, this was going to be a good show, a good show indeed.

**Okay, here's the deal: If you guys liked this chapter, I'll post the second half of it on my next update! If you didn't like it, I'll make a really quick summary sometime next chapter while carrying on with a new idea. Now, I am putting this fic on hold until after Christmas because I'm making a Christmas One Shot! Yay, so, until then, Merry Christmas everyone! May you all be blessed with gingerbread cookies, presents, a great family and good spirits!**

**P.S I apologize for any typos. I wanted to get this up fast and didn't have time to edit it thoroughly. Sorry! Also, adding several teaspoons of honey to a strong cup of tea DOES in fact help a hang-over! Fancy that, eh?**


	6. The untitled chapter

**Finally! Here's the next chapter, people! I am so sorry for the wait! I've been trying so hard to get inspiration**

**Now, the disclaimer, with your host Yami and his guest…**

**Regal!**

**Regal: -staring at cards- Ah… fascinating. These are astounding!**

**Yami: Could I have them back so I can go?**

**Regal: In a moment, I'm not done memorizing them all.**

**Yami: o.c.; You're memorizing every one of my cards!**

**Regal: Indeed…**

**Yami: You… do that… -edges away- Y'know what… keep the cards… I have plenty and I think you contaminated those…**

**Regal: YAY! Shadow doesn't own Tales of Symphonia, Yu-Gi-Oh, or these fantastic business opportunities!**

_**Chapter**_

As Raine was treated for severe embarrassment, the show continued as planned. Kratos was still receiving hateful glares from the group but he shook it off easily, glowering back at them all for being jealous. "You should be happy!" He snapped, "It's not my fault that you all have no—" He stopped when a touch of sweat shone on his brow as six (Excluding Colette and Raine) sets of knuckles cracked threateningly, "…no reason not to have wondrous talent!" He substituted with a light sigh.

"Our next performer is the one, the only, the Mana Master himself Genis Sage!" The young Half elf gulped and was pushed on stage. "Breathe… breathe…" He whimpered, grabbing the magitechnology device uneasily as his hot pink jumpsuit seemed to sparkle in the light.

"Uh..um…**Yeah… Anybody find me somebody to love…**

… **er… can't barely stand on my feet?**

**Take a look in the mirror and cry**

'**Lord whatcha doin' to me?'"** Sweat rolled down the side of his face as his mind blanked out. What were the words! What were the words!

"Um…Um…** I spent all my years… believing you… Er…**

**I just can't wait to be free, Lord!"** He froze up again and the music carried on without him, "GAH!" Genis cried, "I CAN'T DO THIS!" With that he turned tail and fled to the safety of Raine's arms while the audience rubbed their ears from his terrible high notes.

"Whoa… freak out a little, Brat?" Zelos cackled, only to be slapped by Raine, who glowered hatefully, "Leave him alone, Zelos."

"Yeah!" Lloyd added tensely, "At least we didn't mistake him for a wet cat."

Zelos glared at Lloyd. "They all loved me, thank-you-very-much. They were screaming or an encore." He folded his arms smugly and Presea sighed quietly, "They were screaming in pain, Zelos." She explained quietly.

"Oh, well…"

"…And now! The man who made all of this possible in the first place, Regal Bryant!" The crowd cheered as the president strode out. When the cloak came off, however, Lloyd, Yuan, Genis, Zelos and even Kratos' laughter echoed through the entire room.

Regal was wearing a normal Tai-Kwon-Doe uniform and was also boasting a fair-sized pair of nun-chucks. "OH MARTEL!" Yuan wailed in amusement, "If you could only see this!" He wiped his eyes and leaned on Kratos for support, who was against a wall, laughing and shaking his head. "I don't know if I should be amused or disgusted…" He admitted.

Zelos squealed and pointed at Regal, "Lloyd! Look at that! LOOK! Regal's gonna whack our heads off with some sticks!" He feigned a cowardly position and Lloyd cackled with him, "He looks like he's ready t-to take a shower!" He cried falling onto his rump.

Regal glowered at them all irritably but found his cheeks tinged red. "Ugh…" He looked at the crowd and sighed. ( A/N: Bare with me, Folks. I was without lyrics while writing this so I'm a bit clueless)

"**Oh-ho-ho-hooo… oh-ho-ho-hoooo…oh-ho-ho-hooo…oh-ho-ho-hooo…" Everybody was kung-fu fightiing,**

**Those cats were fast as lightning,**

**In fact it was a little bit frightening,**

**But I fought with expert timing."**

Regal lashed out at the air fancily and swung the nun-chucks around.

"**They were funky China men,**

**From funky Chinatown.**

**They were chopping them up**

**They were chopping them down."**

And then it happened. A singling nun-chuck whapped his head soundly as Regal took a flying leap. Temporarily dazed he kept going… and going… and going until he got in the way of a brick wall. "Ooh… My head…." The president moaned.

"We're going to have so many medical bills… Oh? This is on!" the announcer sweat dropped, "Er… Okay! Time for the Chosen of Sylvarant to make her mark! Here's the one and only Colette Brunel!" The audience clapped hesitantly and Colette walked out wearing her a dark blue shirt and a lighter blue skirt.

She opened her mouth to start singing but tripped over a wire. In a domino effect, the entire stage went dark, as did the room. "Oh no! I did it again!" Colette whined, "I'm sorry everyone!" She cried, hearing the confused yells from the crowd. "Sorry! Ohh… I'm so sorry! I messed up!"

"INTERMISSION!" The announcer screamed in frustration, tearing at his hair. "I'm going to lose my job and live life as a hobo or a lawyer!" He wailed, running for the bathroom.

"I think I made him sad..." Colette whimpered, "I'm sorry, Mr. Announcer..." She sniffled and Lloyd sighed melodramatically. "Looks like Presea and Yuan weaseled out of an embarrassing moment–" He was cut off when another, female announcer popped out of no where, "Alllllllrightey then, Folks! We're back and now the lovely Presea Combatir will join me on stage singing Nature Boy!" Her excitement immediately riled up the crowd again and Presea walked out to loud cheers.

She eyed the microphone quietly and slowly reached for it. Opening her mouth she began to sing... well... speak, really. At least her gray dress was pretty.

"**There was a boy**

**a very strange enchanted boy**

**they say he traveled very far, very far**

**over land and sea...**"

"Sing, Presea! Remember? Go with the melody?" Lloyd hissed from back stage.

"Oh... yes, of course, I apologize, I forgot this was a song..." Persea bowed to the audience and continued with a surprisingly high and sweet singing voice.

"**And then one day**

**a magic day he passed my way**

**and while we spoke of many things fools and kings**

**this he said to me**

**the greatest thing you'll ever learn**

**is just to love and be loved in return**."

The song soon finished and the crowd erupted in delighted applause, having missed the normal performances... eh, who would expect Persea could be normal?

Backstage Persea was applauded as well, and Kratos scowled angrily. Why did she get congratulated for her job while he got attacked? "Hmpf..." He grunted, folding his arms and turning away from the group feeling an odd emotion. Regret? No... pity? No... perhaps disappointment? Not the right word... Ah, it was, Kratos realized with a jolt, rejection. He watched Persea taking the congratulations and sighed inwardly, walking over to Yuan, who was trying desperately to calm down. "Don't worry." The swordsman said quietly, "You'll be the end act."

"Wh...WHAT!" Yuan yelled, "The last act? You aren't...you can't... this isn't happening!" The rabbit-man took on the fetal position and rocked on the floor whilst Kratos sighed loudly, "Yuan, you were bragging about your song's simplicity half-an-hour ago..." He stated calmly.

"What does that have to do with this! A man can change in half-an-hour! I am a changed man, Kratos!" Yuan shook his fist at the other seraph, who now looked quite bemused.

"What happened? Did you get a gray hair or something?" Kratos guessed, having seen, over the years, many a man lock himself in his room at the first sign of aging.

"I HAVE A GRAY HAIR!" Yuan shrieked. "It's this stress! It's giving me gray hair!"

Kratos shook his head and began to walk away. Yes... way too much Yuan for one day. "Kratos! Wait!" He paused short of his step and wheeled around to see a much more dignified Yuan striding up to him, "Er... I need your help." The blue-haired half-rabbit admitted, looking away.

"What...?"

"I need you to sing in my song..."

"No. Get Lloyd or Persea... or Regal when he wakes up."

"I already did, and Regal wouldn't stop talking about birds." Yuan clasped his hands before his face pleadingly. "Please, Kratos?"

"Ugh... fine." Kratos glared at Yuan as he whispered his plan into his ear. A moment passed and Kratos raised his eyebrows. "I have to admit, Yuan. That seems like a decent idea."

Meanwhile, Sheena was walking on stage baring a bright pink jumpsuit and a blank baseball cap. She grinned at the audience as the beat began, (Yeah, this has the word 'Shit' so... Boo.)

"**Uhuh this my shit,**

**All the girls stomp their feet like this!**

**A few times I've been around that track so it's not just gonna happen like that**

'**Cause I ain't no Hollaback Girl**

**I ain't no Hollaback Girl**."

Considering the song really required little singing talent (Sorry Gwen Stafani fans.) It was rather hard to tell if Sheena could sing. However, she was making the crowd excited with her feet stomping.

"**Ooh, this my shit, this my shit**

**Ooh, this my shit this my shit.**"

The song continued with minimal errors, Sheena had slipped and fallen onto her bottom once, but it didn't do any harm, though Zelos commented that, "I'm surprised she didn't break the floor!" Needless to say he was missing several teeth within seconds.

And finally, it was time for Yuan's performance of the century. "Ladies and gentlemen! May I present the last performer of the night, none other than Yu–" Kratos walked out holding a microphone, "Uh... Kratos... Aurion?" She blinked but walked away nonetheless as harmonica notes filled the air.

Kratos forced himself to smile slightly as he sang along

"**Love, love me do,**

**you know, I love you**

**I'll always be true,**

**so ple-e-e-ease...**"

Yuan slid through the curtains on his knees with a beaming smile and an orange tuxedo, "**Love me do-oo!"** he sang in a surprisingly magnificent voice. Unfortunately, he continued sliding until he slipped off the front of the stage.

"**Er...someone to love..."** Kratos walked over while singing,

"**Somebody new..."** Came a groaned response

"**Someone to love..**."

"**Someone like you**!" Yuan was on his feet and beside Kratos again when it hit him like a load of bricks... all the people in the audience... all those faces... all those cheers...

"**...So ple-e-e-ease...**" Kratos stopped for Yuan's line.

It didn't come. Instead, the blue-haired seraph swirled on his feet and fainted. "All the faces..." He moaned, "So many... faces..."

Kratos stopped his fake smile and sighed gently, "Well... this is just... great." He grunted, lifting him onto his shoulders and waving to the crowd, which had begun cheering for what part of the song they heard.

Backstage, Raine was poking and prodding at Yuan, trying to wake him. "Yuan! Wake up!" She finally yelled.

"Holy! ATTACK!" Yuan sat up straight and thrust his fist into Raine's face, who squealed and fell backwards. "My nose!" She cried.

"Whoa! The rabbit has a mean uppercut!" Zelos applauded while Raine healed her wounded face and pride.

"Huh? Where am I?" Yuan looked around nervously.

"Backstage. You fainted half-way through the song." Kratos muttered from a corner. "Anyway, get up and ready, we have a final song to perform."

They all looked up in confusion.

"We had such an impact on the audience that they demand an encore of sorts." He pulled out nine sheets of paper. "You have forty-five minutes to memorize it." He instructed.

"How did you find out about this before us?" Regal asked suspiciously.

"They came looking for the Eternal Swordsman, but found me first, so I promised to give them out." Kratos said simply, shrugging.

"You mean you took my job?" Lloyd whined, "Aw..."

Kratos frowned darkly, "I would have guessed you might be grateful. At the time, you were feasting on the food set out for the workers. I could have easily gotten you kicked out for that." He watched Lloyd's eyes widen and smirked inwardly.

"You saw that?" Lloyd finally gaped. "I thought everyone was practicing!"

"No, I watched you eat every cracker, sandwich and hot dog on the table." Kratos said casually, "I can't believe you didn't get indigestion."

"Alright,alright! Thanks!" Lloyd raised his hands in defense and sighed melodramatically. "Damn.. You see everything."

"Actually, I don't. I guessed you were eating. You just confirmed it for me." Kratos replied with a wicked, amused glint in his eye.

"What! That's not fair!" Lloyd yelled. "I...I lied!" He said.

"Yes... I suppose that explains why you smell like ham and cheese."

"Could we just study this song?" Genis piped up irritably.

"Alright... come on, everyone, let's get started!" Colette announced cheerfully.

Forty-five minutes passed too quickly for any of them and soon they were set up on stage with the curtain closed. They were each wearing identical black suits and looked like a large, nervous blues band of some kind.

"Okay, do we all remember our parts?" Lloyd called. They all nodded weakly. "Alright! Let's get this show on the road, then!" With that he shoved Zelos toward the curtains.

The chosen grinned and walked out. The audience winced visible but sighed when he didn't begin singing. "Hit it!" He yelled with a Cheshire cat grin. A familiar beat began and he stamped his feet twice and clapped once to the rhythm (Bet you can't guess the song!). Soon enough the audience was following his example and with that Zelos slipped back into the curtains as they opened.

Lloyd jumped out first with Genis beside him. Putting on a mock scowl he pointed at the younger half-elf, "**Buddy you're a boy makin' big noise playin' in the streets gonna be a big man someday**," Raine joined him, "**You got mud on your face, you big disgrace! Kickin' your can all over the place**," Genis took a deep breath and smirked, "**Singin' We will, we will rock you! We will, we will rock you**!" Considering his earlier performance, Genis sounded quite good.

Their side of the stage faded into darkness and the spotlight landed on Zelos, Regal and Presea.

"**Buddy you're a young man, odd man shoutin' in the streets gonna take on the world someday**!" Regal sang, looking at Zelos, who feigned insult. "**You got blood on your face, you big disgrace! Wavin' your banner all over the place**" Persea added with mock hatred.

"**Singin' we will we will rock you**!" The six sang, "**We will we will rock you**!"

Next the spotlight was on Colette, Sheena, Yuan and Kratos. "**Buddy you're an old man, poor man pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some fierce**(Nyah, once again, lacking lyrics ) **one day**," Colette and Sheena sung, though Colette looked rather guilty.

Yuan stepped up next, "**You got mud on your face, you big disgrace! Somebody better put you back into your place**!"

"**We will, we will rock you! We will we will rock you**!" Kratos, Zelos and Genis sang in unison.

"**We will, we will rock you! We will we will rock you**!" The rest sang back. Music started to play and they all grinned at each other and shared high fives while there was time. As the ending drew closer they all took on random poses across the stage.

Lloyd with a peace sign,

Genis with his hands on his hips and a huge grin

Raine simply with her hands clasped behind her back,

Sheena was punching the air,

Zelos smiled charmingly at all his hunnies,

Regal just stood straight,

Presea leaned on her axe,

Kratos folded his arms and leaned back,

and Yuan bounced in front of them all and waved to the crowds happily, "Good night!" He yelled to them all before running back and catching Kratos in a one-armed embrace, causing the auburn-haired man to cough hysterically and stumble into a curtain, which covered him like a blanket, blocking his movements as he tumbled off stage and into the crowd, squatting an innocent young woman who, unlike her male friend, had no problem with the seraph in her lap.

"Ugh!" Kratos scrambled away and stood up, only to trip over the curtains around his ankles. "Gwah!" He yelled, falling into Yuan, who stumbled into a table. The half-rabbit breathed a sigh of relief until he heard it... a tremendous creak from behind him. "Hmm?" He turned slowly, and yelled when the table broke beneath him. "Whoa!" Yuan gasped in shock and wondered why the crowd had fallen silent. "..." The answer came when a massive bowl of punch landed on his head.

"ACK! Blood!" He cried as red fruitpunch seeped into his hair and clothes. "Oh... never mind." He stood up and used what remained of the table for support. There was another creak and what could go wrong, did go wrong. The table flipped the one beside it, which landed on a stone statue, which shattered.

One of the statue's debris flew into a window, shattering it, while another hit what appeared to be a magitechnology-powered speaker. The expensive machine fell back and caused a domino effect with it's duplicates. In the commotion the guests had hit the floor, so when the dust cleared it was only a sopping wet Yuan, trembling in fear as Kratos stood up wearily. "Come on... I suggest we all leave before the manager gets here..."

Regal looked fit to cry as he stared at the destruction, "Lezareno owns this building!" He finally yelled, "_I_ amthe manager!" He hung his head and Persea patted his arm sympathetically.

Yuan looked at the rest of the group and tried to smile, "How... about we all... just go?" He suggested weakly. They all nodded and headed for the door, watching as Regal began to hyperventilate at the thought of practically rebuilding the whole room.

Lloyd, however, was staring at Kratos and Yuan in shock. "That _had_ to be a Colette-worthy trip." He breathed to Genis, who nodded, having just stepped over the original announcer, who had fainted from stress.

Poor dear.


End file.
